One of my friends quoted the other day,“relationships are hard to handle, no matter how much you love each other but there will always struggle. The question is,with whom do you want to struggle?” She further said, "Key to any relationship is communication. If you and your partner aren't communicating well then it can literally mess up everything. My boyfriend and I were on the verge of breakup on a small issue of not initiating talk after a fight. That lead to a lot of distance.”
What is Communication?
Communication is a way of transferring information from one person or group to another. Two types of communication are:-
1. Verbal communication-
· Face to face
2. Non-verbal communication-
· Facial expressions
· Gestures like using fingers, waving.
· Body language and posture
· Proxemics i.e. personal space
· Eye gaze
· Haptic i.e. touch
Barriers To Healthy Communication
1) Body language- Action speaks louder than words. Yes, it’s true. When you try to explain something, does your body lean forward or backwards? Does your body posture screams,” I don’t care what you say”? What about your head tilt? Do you make eye contact with the person or hold your phone and pretend to listen?
All these things are enough to make someone irritated. Body language will tell the other person that you are really interested in your conversation and you will have a deep communication.
2) Making assumptions- You probably have rolled your eyes at people, thinking, “Oh I don’t even have to hear the rest of this, I already know what they’re going to say!” Well, maybe you do, but maybe you don’t. Don’t do that. We don’t like when people make assumptions about what we are saying, so don’t do that to other people either.
3) Self-centered conversation- If you never ask other people what’s going on in their life, then you looks pretty self-centered. Many people mostly talk about themselves all the time. And we feel a little irritated when they do that, so it’s good to ask people how they are doing in their life. Can you relate?
4) Expecting people to be a mind reader- No one is. So why do we expect them to be? Sometimes we expect your surrounding people, maybe our parents, friends or partners, that they should understand things without our speaking. (God, these Fairy-tale films and books!). So, if you really want someone to understand you, you have to speak directly. Otherwise, you can’t hold them accountable if they misinterpret your cryptic message.
Impact of Healthy Communication on Mental Health
1) Reduces stress- When you are having a bad day and someone comes up to you and talk to you, you feel better. Your relationships become better and deeper by such conversations. Your mind relaxes. Humans are only species that are capable of expressing (through actions and words), so don’t you think you should express more often!
2) Improves moods- There are some hormones called oxytocin and dopamine which are also known as happy hormones. These are released when you are happy. Better communication can make you happy and make these hormones pals ;) to get released.
3) Better sleep- When you let it out all the things that bother you, you can have a better sleep. Taking all the negative thoughts while sleeping can make you overthink for a longer time and can affect your sleep-wake cycle, so be more open to say and let your thoughts out.
4) Greater self-acceptance- Communication has the power to make you self-heal. When another person believes in you, make you feel more comfortable in your skin, you self-accept yourself.
Language of Love
“Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication. Someone isn’t listening.” ~ Emma Thompson
Language of Love
Ways through which we show our love and interpret back is known as a love language. There are many ways to show love.
Quality time - Don’t listen to your partner while using phone or reading a book because it doesn’t show that you are attentive to them. Spend time with them by such a way that they feel you are there for them.
Words of Affection - Calling each other with cute nicknames or saying I Love You often or regular texts and calls are one of the best ways to show your love. Let them know you care, and let them know often!
Acts of Service - Flowers or perfumes or cute pillows or much more, such an act of giving or receiving small, thoughtful presents or practical help shows your partner that you are considerate and thinking about them.
Physical touch - Hugs, kisses or just holding the hand of your loved one can not only feel you loved but also reduces stress.